There is no “back to normal”

In my mere four-ish years dealing with major mental illness, I comforted myself by asserting that eventually I would be "back to normal." Eventually, I would be able to attend a social function without having to take two days to recuperate. Eventually, I would be able to leave my bedroom. Eventually, I would be able…

From your friend with anxiety

I think a lot of us misunderstand anxiety because we throw it around so casually. We say, "Oh, that gives me anxiety" about anything that makes us mildly uncomfortable. While I don’t want to discount anyone’s “anxieties,” as someone who has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder by a professional, I also want to highlight…

An open letter to the depressed missionary

I recently received an email from a sister missionary who struggles with depression. Her experience so far on her mission has been quite similar to the experience I had just three years ago on mine. Reading what she wrote, I ached for her. I had flashbacks of those familiar feelings: the crippling inadequacy, the consistent…

My mission and mental illness

For a long time I blamed my mental illness on my mission. I wanted to serve a mission because Jesus Christ had changed me. The Book of Mormon brought peace that I hadn't experienced before. And I wanted to share that with others. I diligently prepared to serve a mission for three years. I taught with…

Making self-care a priority

It was my third semester of college. I had just returned from my mission, so it had been a year and a half since I'd been in school. As a requirement for the English Education program I was enrolled in at the time, I had to observe English classes in a high school for at…

How to watch General Conference when you’re depressed

For members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, General Conference is a BIG deal. Twice a year, we have the opportunity to hear speeches from the prophet, apostles and other ecclesiastical leaders. A cumulative ten hours, the Conference spreads out over two days. It's broadcasted from Salt Lake City, so most of…